97 days until the wedding...and we only have less than 1/3rd of the RSVPs we expect for the whole she-bang. I imagine July 24th doesn't seem as close to the one hundred plus invitees as it does to us, and I can understand that. I remember the days when I didn't RSVP to things until the last minute. Or I RSVP'd verbally and expected the busy, stressed, and over-extended bride to remember that I had randomly said, "I'll be there!". We've had some people verbally RSVP, some have mentioned in an e-mail that they plan on being at the wedding, and some people obviously won't let us know at all. I don't expect everyone who's been invited to be able to come. I don't even expect everyone who's been invited to want to come. And that's fine. But those who are coming...well, I'd like to know about it.

There are a couple of reasons. I love getting the responses. When I see people who mean a lot to Shaun and I, either individually or as a couple, letting us know that we mean a lot to them, too, it makes my day. I'm going to have four of my best friends there (number five...oh, number fiiiiiiiii-iiiive, the day won't be the same without you!) and every time one of them told me she was coming I nearly cried. Some of the people Shaun became friends with in Washington and I later became friends with when I visited are coming, driving eleven hours to see us be married. I've no longer started to see our wedding and reception as something people are going to take advantage of just to get an amazing free meal; I realize that for most of the attendees it will be a meaningful experience that they want to share with us. Even though the wedding is larger than I thought it would be or wanted it to be, it will still be an intimate day with people we love. The moral of this spiel: it brings me joy to know people are coming. It makes all the planning and worrying feel so worthwhile.

Another reason: AUGH! We still have to know how many we're going to be feeding!

From what I understand, every bride has 'wedding dreams'. Some of them are nightmares, some are just regular dreams that are nice enough and involve The Wedding. I've had some of these myself. Normally, I wake up the next day quite motivated to a) check in with my photographer because in my dream I hadn't actually told her the wedding date so she didn't show, b) get my dress altered, c) buy my *third* pair of wedding shoes, d) verify with my loving fiancee that he does not, in fact, have plans to live a life of celibate service to God. Yep, that's right...I had a dream that he decided to be a minister in our church, which involves not getting married. My point is, these dreams have a 'spurring' effect on me. My subconscious screams at me to let me know that something I've been putting off still needs to be done.

The problem is, I'm not having these dreams of late. Ever since we got back from our trip to Boise which was a whirlwind of wedding accomplishments, I've been falling into a mode of complacency. I've read a couple of books. I've budgeted. I've relaxed. But I haven't planned much wedding stuff. It's true, I got the front side of ninety programs printed (why just the front side is another story for another day). I got my bees made. I bought most of the ingredients for my pasta salad. But other than that, I've been quite lax.

And the dreams just aren't haunting me like they were. There was a stretch where I had them at least twice a week, and I would wake up in a cold sweat at dark-thirty and sit awake and start planning and thinking and worrying and not be able to go back to sleep. With the dreams not coming any more, it's true that I sleep better, but I don't fill my days with nearly as much productive wedding effort as I used to.

The problem with this is that there are one hundred one days until The Wedding. That might sound like a long time, but think about it. That's three months, eleven days. Thirteen weeks. That is NOT a lot of time! And I am seriously lacking in motivation to fill those precious and fleeting days with productivity. In short, when I say, oh, I'll call Carmen about the food next Monday, well, next Monday rolls around and I call but don't get hold of her and think, it's not a big deal, I'll catch her next Monday (Mondays are my Saturdays, by the way)...there's not a lot of Mondays left! Thirteen. Thirteen Mondays.

Wait. The brevity of that just sank in.

In fourteen Mondays, I'll be a MARRIED LADY!

Skip the rest of the planning...I'm just excited to get there.