The flowers are solved. They'll turn out slightly different than these, but different in a 'uniquely my own' sort of way.

You may be asking yourself how I came to these conclusions, after just yesterday explaining how I was going in circles and kept coming back to the beautiful bouquet featuring sunflowers and dahlias. There is no simple answer to that question. I was losing sleep over this conundrum last night and stumbled across the pictures of the bouquets. In my stumbling, which involved a lot of Googling, I came across several alternatives that I really liked. I believe the reason behind my research was needing to work out a solution to my boutonniere dissatisfaction, so I was perusing options. Then, of course, searching through boutonnieres led me to pictures of wedding flowers in general, so I was inspired to rethink my flowers...yet again.

It was pretty late, and I was pretty foggy, but I believe the progression of events went something like this: I was looking at a picture of a boutonniere I liked as a part of a slideshow of wedding pictures. Scrolling through the floral pictures, I stumbled upon some beautiful maids' bouquets...and they were all different. There were four or five bouquets, all the same color, but each composed of a different type of flower. This was a novel idea to me, and I really liked it. As a result, I went back to the flower site and started perusing different flowers I could use, while still keeping my own bouquet the way I'd imagined it yesterday.

The very first time I looked at the site, their zinnias caught my eye. I've been saying since the beginning of our planning process that I don't want a color theme, but I want color to be the theme, and for that reason the vivid zinnias grabbed my attention. From yesterday's post, though, it should be evident how many times I have changed my mind over the past six days, so the zinnias were forgotten somewhere in there.

So, in thinking that maybe my maid's bouquets should each be a unique color and/or flower, I revisited the zinnias. Unfortunately, the floral site didn't offer them in just pink, or just orange, or just yellow, or just purple, but a mixture of the four colors. I scrapped the idea, yet again.

As a result of all my perusing yesterday, I had come across several ideas that I liked, but still had my heart set on the dahlia bouquet. I can't say there was a point of grand revelation or anything, but at some juncture I came to realize that it's not actually the bouquet I had my heart set on, but the dahlias. I think they are a most beautiful, elegant flower, and I am hoping to have a beautiful, elegant wedding, so they really fit my taste and vision. As a result, I started Googling 'dahlia/cosmo bouquet', or 'dahlia/godetia bouquet', or 'dahlia/zinnia bouquet.' And that's when I found this.

I don't know what to say about this except it made me stop. When I found my last inspiration, I felt certain I'd found what I was looking for. I was set that I wanted a wildflower look, and the sunflowers, delphinium, and dahlias really fulfilled what I'd imagined. The more I looked at it, though, the more I realized I needed to tweak it to make it what I wanted. I didn't want the fall colors, so I was going to have to change either the dahlias to pink, or do something other than sunflowers. I didn't want cream roses, so I would have to change that, too. Just when I thought I had it figured out, I came across this. The difference between the two bouquets is that, while I had to make the wildflower one mine, I didn't with this one. The white felt romantic, understated, and elegant, and the splashes of color to me added a tasteful pizazz. It suits my personality and tastes perfectly. I am altering it slightly: the asters (which are the spikey flowers with yellow centers) are actually going to be godetia. When I looked at my options on the floral site, I didn't feel confident that the asters they offered would actually serve the purpose. I chose the godetia instead, a slightly more dreamy, romantic flower which will work beautifully. I also loved the idea of incorporating herbs into my bouquet. This bouquet struck me as very non-traditional, while still classical in a way; very me.

The bright colors, of course, will be incorporated with the maids' bouquets. Their dresses are a seafoam green, with a magenta sash, peek-a-boo hem, and wrap. The bright pink, red, orange, and yellow zinnias paired with orange and purple dahlias will pop nicely against the mellow green, while still accentuating the jewel tones.

The boutonnieres are another success story, but this was a result of teamwork. As of this morning, I had made an incomplete breakdown of what I would need if I were to choose these flowers, but had not actually decided on this as my choice. I needed a second opinion, and Shaun, shockingly, is not too interested in flowers. I was able to con my roommate (who's also a bridesmaid) into brainstorming with me. In the process of tossing ideas around, we both gradually came to realize that these were the bouquets. I like to think I knew it from the moment I saw them, but that was around two a.m. so I can't really be sure. We were also bouncing around for ideas on the boutonnieres and came across these. I'd seen them yesterday in my searching, and really liked them but I didn't have access to each type of herb pictured. I scrapped the idea (much like the zinnias...I really need to learn to go with my gut!) and moved on. We came across them again today, and, between the two of us, concluded that we could swap the sage for mint, the oregano for baby's breath, and the blueberries for huckleberries and we're in business. Shaun is wearing a suit, but his groomsmen and ushers are going more simply in white button-up shirts and ties. Because of that, I didn't want a heavy floral boutonniere which the shirts wouldn't be sturdy enough to support, and I didn't want them to be too vivid against the white. These bouts were the perfect fit, once we got all the ingredients worked out. Best of all, Shaun really likes them! When I'd asked him before about wearing a one pink and one orange spray rose for his bout, he said, "I'll wear whatever you want." When he saw these, he said, "Yeah, I really like those." I guess that's about as much enthusiasm as I can hope for in the flower arena, so I'll take it.

Oh, and also...today is May 24th, and our wedding is 60 days away!

I am sick over my flowers. Not sick of them, not sick of looking at the bouquet, but sick over them. This story starts Tuesday night...

Shaun and I were leaving the mall, happy to have chosen his shoes and belt for the wedding. He's a picky shopper, but we got our mission accomplished. I got a call from the friend-of-a-friend who was going to do my wedding flowers, but decided not to take it at that moment. I called her back later that evening, and...she can't do it. Please note that Tuesday was May 18th, so just over two months until the wedding. At first, I processed the news well. No worries, I thought. We'll make it work, I thought. So, I jumped on the website which carried the flowers I was going to order to see what other packages they had. I initially planned to order a bulk package of several varieties, and this woman was going to design them for me. I wanted to peruse the other packages to find something more 'put together' that I could order for a quick solution. Not only did they not have anything I liked, but they had discontinued the initial package! Yikes.

So, I did what any desperate person does when they're in a corner and can't see a solution: I asked for help. To shorten a story that could be longer than it's going to be, I got help. A friend recommended another website (with better variety and prices!) and another offered to put together my bouquets and boutonnieres.

As a result, I am no longer sick over the cancellation. It was one of those things that, in the back of my mind, I knew was too good to be true. A person I've only spoken to over the phone is going to drive four hours and do an incredible service for me...on the cheap? She cancelled for a legitimate reason, but I still probably should have known.

What I'm sick over now is the flowers themselves. The picture is the bouquet that I want. I have a few things I plan to alter: mine will have stargazer lilies instead of sunflowers, and hot pink and orange spray roses rather than off-white ones. I have a couple of reasons for these differentiations: 1) it's my wedding and I'd prefer if my flowers weren't an exact carbon copy of someone else's, and 2) the wedding's in July and the bouquet is a little more 'fall-y' than I want. But that was not a simple conclusion. I started perusing weddingflowersofamerica.com on Tuesday, and found a couple other options. I liked them, but my heart was truly set on this bouquet. The other options would have been slightly less expensive, but it took me a long time to settle on this bouquet as a muse in the first place, and I really do love it. So, on Wednesday I decided to scrap the lesser options and go with my heart on this one. I spent most of my free time on Wednesday and Thursday breaking down exactly how many flowers I need...so I determined how many blooms I want in my bouquet, how many in my party's bouquets, how many in the boutonnieres, how many on the tables...you get the idea. At this point, I was planning to use sunflowers and pink dahlias (rather than the orange in the picture). As it turns out, though, I need between 500-600 blooms. I put all that in my shopping cart on the website, saw the total, and promptly began to consider my lesser options again.

My lesser option that I liked the best was this:

I was going to use tiger lilies to add some interest, and for the boutonnieres. In perusing the lily section of the site, I clicked on stargazers, a favorite of mine and a component in the first package I was going to use. When I looked at the price, I realized that it would actually be more cost effective to replace either the dahlias or the sunflowers with stargazer lilies. That decision wasn't hard; I adore dahlias, so I scrapped the sunflowers and the idea of using this (stupid) bouquet.

That being settled, I started to think a little more about the boutonnieres, of which we need 25. I planned to use the orange and hot pink spray roses, and each bout would have one of each color of flower, as well as a sprig of lavender and a sprig of rosemary. Again, I looked at cost and blanched. My solution? Use two flowers for Shaun, his party, and our parents. Rather than 50 flowers, I would need 35...not a huge difference, but it made a significant enough cut to the cost that I decided it would be best. However, as I clearly cannot make up my mind, it occurred to me that maybe spray roses wouldn't be big enough to make nice bouts. I went back to the website and picked out Ambiance roses, which are a beautiful bi-color or a peachy-yellow tipped with pink. Those were going to make up the bouts, along with one spray rose, lavender, and rosemary. But wait! If I paired the large rose with either orange or hot pink, that wouldn't work so well! Instead, I'll use white spray roses and knock out the orange ones altogether, even though I like orange more than white. Whew, okay, solved.

Until I was looking through online wedding albums today. In the course of a couple of hours, I went from hypericum berry/lavender boutonnieres to fiddle fern/hypericum berry boutonnieres to lavender/rosemary boutonnieres. And I can't settle on a choice. And I need to place my order, soon.