Losing...wait, losing what? Oh, right. It. Losing It.

In the past few days, here's what I've done.

1) Lost a fairly sizable check from my parents which they kindly sent for the wedding (which I thankfully found)

2) Lost my Bible.

3) Lost my keys.

4) Slept through my alarm and was subsequently laaaaate for work.

5) Forgot to send my dad's Father's Day card with his Father's Day present.

I feel, though, that I can justify the fact that I seem to be having a break from reality. The Wedding is now less that a month away. Shaun defends his thesis in three days. I am in a wedding tomorrow. We are looking for a job for Shaun...any of which are in a completely different state. I am hating (what's new?) my job. I am plant-sitting. I can't sleep at night. I am dieting.

Justifiable or not, though, I am worried that my mental breakdown is bleeding over into my wedding preparation. If I can lose my keys, Bible, and a check in the course of seven days, am I losing track of wedding details, too? I feel as though I must be.

So, does every bride feel like this? I assume some of the more even-tempered, cooler-headed ladies have themselves and their weddings more under control at this point than I do. Or, am I just crazy? Is it all under control? Is everything accounted for that possibly can be? But how, in my current state, could I even know?

I have never been a ditzy, forgetful person, and it's really frustrating that I am right now.

Ah, the final stages.

The programs are finished.

The flowers are purchased.

The rings are bought.

The vows are written.

The deposits are deposited.

The recipes are created.

Now what?!

The flowers are solved. They'll turn out slightly different than these, but different in a 'uniquely my own' sort of way.

You may be asking yourself how I came to these conclusions, after just yesterday explaining how I was going in circles and kept coming back to the beautiful bouquet featuring sunflowers and dahlias. There is no simple answer to that question. I was losing sleep over this conundrum last night and stumbled across the pictures of the bouquets. In my stumbling, which involved a lot of Googling, I came across several alternatives that I really liked. I believe the reason behind my research was needing to work out a solution to my boutonniere dissatisfaction, so I was perusing options. Then, of course, searching through boutonnieres led me to pictures of wedding flowers in general, so I was inspired to rethink my flowers...yet again.

It was pretty late, and I was pretty foggy, but I believe the progression of events went something like this: I was looking at a picture of a boutonniere I liked as a part of a slideshow of wedding pictures. Scrolling through the floral pictures, I stumbled upon some beautiful maids' bouquets...and they were all different. There were four or five bouquets, all the same color, but each composed of a different type of flower. This was a novel idea to me, and I really liked it. As a result, I went back to the flower site and started perusing different flowers I could use, while still keeping my own bouquet the way I'd imagined it yesterday.

The very first time I looked at the site, their zinnias caught my eye. I've been saying since the beginning of our planning process that I don't want a color theme, but I want color to be the theme, and for that reason the vivid zinnias grabbed my attention. From yesterday's post, though, it should be evident how many times I have changed my mind over the past six days, so the zinnias were forgotten somewhere in there.

So, in thinking that maybe my maid's bouquets should each be a unique color and/or flower, I revisited the zinnias. Unfortunately, the floral site didn't offer them in just pink, or just orange, or just yellow, or just purple, but a mixture of the four colors. I scrapped the idea, yet again.

As a result of all my perusing yesterday, I had come across several ideas that I liked, but still had my heart set on the dahlia bouquet. I can't say there was a point of grand revelation or anything, but at some juncture I came to realize that it's not actually the bouquet I had my heart set on, but the dahlias. I think they are a most beautiful, elegant flower, and I am hoping to have a beautiful, elegant wedding, so they really fit my taste and vision. As a result, I started Googling 'dahlia/cosmo bouquet', or 'dahlia/godetia bouquet', or 'dahlia/zinnia bouquet.' And that's when I found this.

I don't know what to say about this except it made me stop. When I found my last inspiration, I felt certain I'd found what I was looking for. I was set that I wanted a wildflower look, and the sunflowers, delphinium, and dahlias really fulfilled what I'd imagined. The more I looked at it, though, the more I realized I needed to tweak it to make it what I wanted. I didn't want the fall colors, so I was going to have to change either the dahlias to pink, or do something other than sunflowers. I didn't want cream roses, so I would have to change that, too. Just when I thought I had it figured out, I came across this. The difference between the two bouquets is that, while I had to make the wildflower one mine, I didn't with this one. The white felt romantic, understated, and elegant, and the splashes of color to me added a tasteful pizazz. It suits my personality and tastes perfectly. I am altering it slightly: the asters (which are the spikey flowers with yellow centers) are actually going to be godetia. When I looked at my options on the floral site, I didn't feel confident that the asters they offered would actually serve the purpose. I chose the godetia instead, a slightly more dreamy, romantic flower which will work beautifully. I also loved the idea of incorporating herbs into my bouquet. This bouquet struck me as very non-traditional, while still classical in a way; very me.

The bright colors, of course, will be incorporated with the maids' bouquets. Their dresses are a seafoam green, with a magenta sash, peek-a-boo hem, and wrap. The bright pink, red, orange, and yellow zinnias paired with orange and purple dahlias will pop nicely against the mellow green, while still accentuating the jewel tones.

The boutonnieres are another success story, but this was a result of teamwork. As of this morning, I had made an incomplete breakdown of what I would need if I were to choose these flowers, but had not actually decided on this as my choice. I needed a second opinion, and Shaun, shockingly, is not too interested in flowers. I was able to con my roommate (who's also a bridesmaid) into brainstorming with me. In the process of tossing ideas around, we both gradually came to realize that these were the bouquets. I like to think I knew it from the moment I saw them, but that was around two a.m. so I can't really be sure. We were also bouncing around for ideas on the boutonnieres and came across these. I'd seen them yesterday in my searching, and really liked them but I didn't have access to each type of herb pictured. I scrapped the idea (much like the zinnias...I really need to learn to go with my gut!) and moved on. We came across them again today, and, between the two of us, concluded that we could swap the sage for mint, the oregano for baby's breath, and the blueberries for huckleberries and we're in business. Shaun is wearing a suit, but his groomsmen and ushers are going more simply in white button-up shirts and ties. Because of that, I didn't want a heavy floral boutonniere which the shirts wouldn't be sturdy enough to support, and I didn't want them to be too vivid against the white. These bouts were the perfect fit, once we got all the ingredients worked out. Best of all, Shaun really likes them! When I'd asked him before about wearing a one pink and one orange spray rose for his bout, he said, "I'll wear whatever you want." When he saw these, he said, "Yeah, I really like those." I guess that's about as much enthusiasm as I can hope for in the flower arena, so I'll take it.

Oh, and also...today is May 24th, and our wedding is 60 days away!

I am sick over my flowers. Not sick of them, not sick of looking at the bouquet, but sick over them. This story starts Tuesday night...

Shaun and I were leaving the mall, happy to have chosen his shoes and belt for the wedding. He's a picky shopper, but we got our mission accomplished. I got a call from the friend-of-a-friend who was going to do my wedding flowers, but decided not to take it at that moment. I called her back later that evening, and...she can't do it. Please note that Tuesday was May 18th, so just over two months until the wedding. At first, I processed the news well. No worries, I thought. We'll make it work, I thought. So, I jumped on the website which carried the flowers I was going to order to see what other packages they had. I initially planned to order a bulk package of several varieties, and this woman was going to design them for me. I wanted to peruse the other packages to find something more 'put together' that I could order for a quick solution. Not only did they not have anything I liked, but they had discontinued the initial package! Yikes.

So, I did what any desperate person does when they're in a corner and can't see a solution: I asked for help. To shorten a story that could be longer than it's going to be, I got help. A friend recommended another website (with better variety and prices!) and another offered to put together my bouquets and boutonnieres.

As a result, I am no longer sick over the cancellation. It was one of those things that, in the back of my mind, I knew was too good to be true. A person I've only spoken to over the phone is going to drive four hours and do an incredible service for me...on the cheap? She cancelled for a legitimate reason, but I still probably should have known.

What I'm sick over now is the flowers themselves. The picture is the bouquet that I want. I have a few things I plan to alter: mine will have stargazer lilies instead of sunflowers, and hot pink and orange spray roses rather than off-white ones. I have a couple of reasons for these differentiations: 1) it's my wedding and I'd prefer if my flowers weren't an exact carbon copy of someone else's, and 2) the wedding's in July and the bouquet is a little more 'fall-y' than I want. But that was not a simple conclusion. I started perusing weddingflowersofamerica.com on Tuesday, and found a couple other options. I liked them, but my heart was truly set on this bouquet. The other options would have been slightly less expensive, but it took me a long time to settle on this bouquet as a muse in the first place, and I really do love it. So, on Wednesday I decided to scrap the lesser options and go with my heart on this one. I spent most of my free time on Wednesday and Thursday breaking down exactly how many flowers I need...so I determined how many blooms I want in my bouquet, how many in my party's bouquets, how many in the boutonnieres, how many on the tables...you get the idea. At this point, I was planning to use sunflowers and pink dahlias (rather than the orange in the picture). As it turns out, though, I need between 500-600 blooms. I put all that in my shopping cart on the website, saw the total, and promptly began to consider my lesser options again.

My lesser option that I liked the best was this:

I was going to use tiger lilies to add some interest, and for the boutonnieres. In perusing the lily section of the site, I clicked on stargazers, a favorite of mine and a component in the first package I was going to use. When I looked at the price, I realized that it would actually be more cost effective to replace either the dahlias or the sunflowers with stargazer lilies. That decision wasn't hard; I adore dahlias, so I scrapped the sunflowers and the idea of using this (stupid) bouquet.

That being settled, I started to think a little more about the boutonnieres, of which we need 25. I planned to use the orange and hot pink spray roses, and each bout would have one of each color of flower, as well as a sprig of lavender and a sprig of rosemary. Again, I looked at cost and blanched. My solution? Use two flowers for Shaun, his party, and our parents. Rather than 50 flowers, I would need 35...not a huge difference, but it made a significant enough cut to the cost that I decided it would be best. However, as I clearly cannot make up my mind, it occurred to me that maybe spray roses wouldn't be big enough to make nice bouts. I went back to the website and picked out Ambiance roses, which are a beautiful bi-color or a peachy-yellow tipped with pink. Those were going to make up the bouts, along with one spray rose, lavender, and rosemary. But wait! If I paired the large rose with either orange or hot pink, that wouldn't work so well! Instead, I'll use white spray roses and knock out the orange ones altogether, even though I like orange more than white. Whew, okay, solved.

Until I was looking through online wedding albums today. In the course of a couple of hours, I went from hypericum berry/lavender boutonnieres to fiddle fern/hypericum berry boutonnieres to lavender/rosemary boutonnieres. And I can't settle on a choice. And I need to place my order, soon.

97 days until the wedding...and we only have less than 1/3rd of the RSVPs we expect for the whole she-bang. I imagine July 24th doesn't seem as close to the one hundred plus invitees as it does to us, and I can understand that. I remember the days when I didn't RSVP to things until the last minute. Or I RSVP'd verbally and expected the busy, stressed, and over-extended bride to remember that I had randomly said, "I'll be there!". We've had some people verbally RSVP, some have mentioned in an e-mail that they plan on being at the wedding, and some people obviously won't let us know at all. I don't expect everyone who's been invited to be able to come. I don't even expect everyone who's been invited to want to come. And that's fine. But those who are coming...well, I'd like to know about it.

There are a couple of reasons. I love getting the responses. When I see people who mean a lot to Shaun and I, either individually or as a couple, letting us know that we mean a lot to them, too, it makes my day. I'm going to have four of my best friends there (number five...oh, number fiiiiiiiii-iiiive, the day won't be the same without you!) and every time one of them told me she was coming I nearly cried. Some of the people Shaun became friends with in Washington and I later became friends with when I visited are coming, driving eleven hours to see us be married. I've no longer started to see our wedding and reception as something people are going to take advantage of just to get an amazing free meal; I realize that for most of the attendees it will be a meaningful experience that they want to share with us. Even though the wedding is larger than I thought it would be or wanted it to be, it will still be an intimate day with people we love. The moral of this spiel: it brings me joy to know people are coming. It makes all the planning and worrying feel so worthwhile.

Another reason: AUGH! We still have to know how many we're going to be feeding!

From what I understand, every bride has 'wedding dreams'. Some of them are nightmares, some are just regular dreams that are nice enough and involve The Wedding. I've had some of these myself. Normally, I wake up the next day quite motivated to a) check in with my photographer because in my dream I hadn't actually told her the wedding date so she didn't show, b) get my dress altered, c) buy my *third* pair of wedding shoes, d) verify with my loving fiancee that he does not, in fact, have plans to live a life of celibate service to God. Yep, that's right...I had a dream that he decided to be a minister in our church, which involves not getting married. My point is, these dreams have a 'spurring' effect on me. My subconscious screams at me to let me know that something I've been putting off still needs to be done.

The problem is, I'm not having these dreams of late. Ever since we got back from our trip to Boise which was a whirlwind of wedding accomplishments, I've been falling into a mode of complacency. I've read a couple of books. I've budgeted. I've relaxed. But I haven't planned much wedding stuff. It's true, I got the front side of ninety programs printed (why just the front side is another story for another day). I got my bees made. I bought most of the ingredients for my pasta salad. But other than that, I've been quite lax.

And the dreams just aren't haunting me like they were. There was a stretch where I had them at least twice a week, and I would wake up in a cold sweat at dark-thirty and sit awake and start planning and thinking and worrying and not be able to go back to sleep. With the dreams not coming any more, it's true that I sleep better, but I don't fill my days with nearly as much productive wedding effort as I used to.

The problem with this is that there are one hundred one days until The Wedding. That might sound like a long time, but think about it. That's three months, eleven days. Thirteen weeks. That is NOT a lot of time! And I am seriously lacking in motivation to fill those precious and fleeting days with productivity. In short, when I say, oh, I'll call Carmen about the food next Monday, well, next Monday rolls around and I call but don't get hold of her and think, it's not a big deal, I'll catch her next Monday (Mondays are my Saturdays, by the way)...there's not a lot of Mondays left! Thirteen. Thirteen Mondays.

Wait. The brevity of that just sank in.

In fourteen Mondays, I'll be a MARRIED LADY!

Skip the rest of the planning...I'm just excited to get there.

The idea I have been tossing around for some time...

Going part-time at work. It seems like the signs point that direction lately. I have talked to my family on the phone twice in the past week, and both times I was too exhausted to carry on a viable conversation. The second time, I talked mostly to my mom. She told me that she thinks I should look for another job on my days off. She said, "It seems like this job is really bringing you down." Given the economy at the moment, and given that we get at least three applicants a week in the coffee shop, completely finding a new job doesn't seem all that feasible. There's the added bonus that we're most likely going to be moving to wherever Shaun finds a job, so most places aren't going to be interested in hiring and training someone for three months of work. Quitting altogether doesn't seem like the best option. But switching to part-time might not be half bad. Another reason? Yesterday I worked 9 1/2 hours. On my feet. Busting my butt. I realize that nurses and doctors work far more grueling hours. But they also get paid probably triple what I do...so...it's not really worth it for me to kill myself between work and wedding.

Here's what's holding me back:

1) We are already working on a very limited budget. When I say very limited, I mean to say that we are literally out of money. Not that my whopping salary keeps us afloat, but that money does save us from putting groceries on some sort of credit card.

2) The minuscule raise I got when I was made manager would probably disappear; not only would I be working fewer hours and thus making less money, but I would be earning a smaller wage.

3) It might give me too much time. I don't know what I would do if I only worked part-time. Let's say I had one more day off a week. Well, I've already got the hang of accomplishing lots of stuff on Mondays, my only true day off. So, say I have Tuesdays off as well...what do I do with my Tuesdays? Aside from not get paid? There are a ton of 'little' wedding projects that I am constantly having to designate to 'next' Monday (when I put 'next' in quotations, I am referring to the perpetual 'next' Monday of procrastinators) because I ran out of time this Monday. But even still, I might find myself wasting away the time and blogging rather than calling the cousin I am hoping will be in charge of the Food Committee (name that show) at the wedding.

4) I am scared. I haven't worked part-time since high school. And I worked part-time in high school because...well, I had school. I know Shaun won't think less of me, but would I think less of myself? I am supposed to be able to handle all this. If I can't handle this, how will I handle having a family and a job at the same time?

The moral of this story is that I have no idea what to do. Should I switch to a more manageable schedule? Should I continue to bust my haunches and earn minimal amounts of money? Would it really kill the coffers that much if I worked six or eight (or 9 1/2) hours less a week? Would I reach the wedding feeling more prepared? Would I drive myself insane being at home that much? Would I be able to face wedding problems with more composure than I have in the past because I'm more relaxed? Would I be in better shape because I would actually have the energy to go to the gym, rather than hold a membership that does me little good after I've worked an eight hour shift on my feet running around and answering questions and putting out fires and cleaning and doing dishes and giving instructions and...and...and...?! Would my house be cleaner? Would my sanity be intact? Could I visit my family before Shaun and I move across the country? Would we be so broke that it would only create new stresses? Could I actually coordinate time with the woman who's helping me plan my wedding, rather than call, text, or Facebook every once in a while to see if she thinks such-and-so would work with the theme of the day?

I really, truly, have no idea what the answers are to these questions. I do know that, from where I stand at this moment, I don't feel like I can keep up this pace. I've only had one full week back at work after a nice five-day break and I am already feeling burnt out and stressed.

Best wedding gift ever: a videographer!

We were in church yesterday, and sat next to a couple that we know moderately well. Well enough to have invited them to the wedding, anyway. One of his hobbies is making videos. He's good at it, too. He's filmed ice climbers and wildlife in Yellowstone Park, among other things. Anyway, yesterday they told us they'd be coming to the wedding before church started. Then, after the service was through, he turns to us and asks, "Do you guys want a video of your wedding?" Shaun looked at me with that 'I have no idea' look on his face, as I sit there nodding like a maniac. So, we have a videographer.

In my mind, this may be the best gift we get. I've heard from a couple of different married women that they are so glad they got a video. The day flies, by all accounts, and you won't remember the vows, or prayers, or even everyone who came. And I want to remember those things. I want to be able to go back and hear what we vowed to each other. I want to go back and see our grandparents' faces after they're gone. This person has made that possible for us, and I am so thankful.

The wedding 'urghs' are over for the time being. But I'm sure they'll rear their 'urgh'-ly head again before the wedding.

Why am I cheerful, the polar opposite of a week ago? My wonderful fiancée and I went shopping. Now, we may have maxed out the credit card (whoopsie), but we got a ton of what we need for the remainder of the planning process.

Suit for him...check...basket for flowergirl...check...tie for him...check...ties for his groomsmen and ushers...check...card basket...check...tablecloths...check...cake plates...check...beverage and large napkins...check...cups...check...confetti...check...Popsicle sticks for programs...check...flowergirl dress...check...shirt for him...check...cake server...check...garters...check...reception candy...check...

Today's main project is programs. They're going to turn out differently than I had envisioned, which is okay because that makes me feel like even though the idea was someone else's, I made it uniquely mine. The programs' design is complete...and looks great, might I add. I designed them myself, with buckets of help from Shaun. But all the information took up more room than I had originally thought, so the silk flowers I was planning to attach were not going to fit. Never fear...I adore those cutesy little things and am determined to make them work. Here's how: Shaun, my ever-loving and tolerant fiancée, is going to drill holes in the Popsicle sticks at one end. I will then use the multi-colored brads I had already purchased and affix the flowers on the opposite end of the program. Ta-da!

I also had a couple of inspirations:

The front of our program reads like a normal program, listing the wedding participants. The back, however, was going to have a wedding game. We had a crossword puzzle and a mad-lib put together for our guests' entertainment before the ceremony. The crossword, however, was kind of a bust. Most of the clues didn't connect well enough for a person to be able to solve the whole thing. But the mad-lib...oh, the mad-lib is just great. I wrote most of it, but again had help from Shaun. The inspiration is this: rather than have people fill it out and come up to us during the reception and ask us to read what they came up with, we're going to have guests put their mad-libs in a basket. Then, during the reception, each wedding party member will randomly draw two and read them to the crowd. Mad-libs are always so entertaining; why not share? I think it will be a great reception game to offset the speeches which get kind of emotional.

The tablecloths were my other, more joint inspiration. A good portion of credit is due my soon-to-be sister-in-law. We went to a party store in Boise, her hometown and where we spent the last several days, and found most of the things we'll need for the reception. Including vinyl tablecloths. Now, let me state for the record: I have been opposed to vinyl tablecloths all along. I hate them. I think they're tacky. I think they look cheap. I think they make a glaring statement that the wedding was done on the cheap (which ours is...don't tell, though). For the aforementioned reasons, I was not, I repeat, not, going to buy vinyl tablecloths. The first plan was to buy and sew burlap into tablecloths. Aside from being a pain, the burlap is too loosely woven to properly cover the tables, so the wood would show through. Plan B was to simply rent. But for two bucks a pop, can you really not just buy the vinyl? So I bought them. They're a close match to the green I'm using, so it seemed like the right thing to do. The only problem: the vinyl is still too light a material, and the brown from the table would still show through. But Shannon has a brainwave: buy the burlap to go on top of the vinyl. Ahh, yes. The green will show through the weave of the burlap, rather than the wood of the tables (and the fact that I bought vinyl tablecloths will be disguised). And, because one brainwave leads to another, I had a thought: rather than sewing and worrying about seams and just adding an extra stress to the pile, how about just buying squares of burlap? The tables are round, so the unhemmed, unsewn, worry-free burlap will just sit on top of the tables as sort of a contrast. Some of the green will still show, but it'll be okay. Overall, I think the look will be quite charming.

On a non-wedding note...we left Boise in 60-degree weather. It's snowing at home today. Any my son (cat), who was cat-sat by his auntie for five days is lying partially on my hip, partially on my bed underneath my left elbow and is purring. He's happy I'm home, which makes my heart sing because it was the longest I'd ever been away from him and I dreamed of him at night while I was away. Please, don't judge me.

I have the wedding 'urghs'.

Between surfing the net, having three co-workers getting married in the next year, magazines, and friends, I have plenty of encouragement and plenty of people to bounce ideas off of. This must be good then, right? While this does have its advantages, it also has disadvantages...

When we (read: I...my fiancee is wonderful but he gets tired of wedding stuff quite quickly) started planning, I was full of idealism. I was going to be unique. People would talk about our wedding. Not just to tell us how nice it was because they have to tell us that, but they would talk about it down the line, remembering that it was a beautiful day and a beautiful wedding and so on and so forth. I had some great ideas that I was certain would be within our limited budget and would be amazing.

I quickly learned that every wedding idea ever has already been had. By someone other than me. I thought I had come to terms with this...that my wedding pictures, aside from the cast, would be a carbon copy of someone else's. I figured, well, there are over two million weddings in the US per year. Of course things have been done before. It's okay. And for the most part, it is. Just because it's not going to be exactly unique doesn't mean it doesn't fit my fiancee and myself.

What's really getting to me is the lingering insecurity that those weddings will be better. Maybe because they have a larger budget. Maybe because they have a professional wedding planner. Maybe because other brides have dreamed of this day since they were3 1/2 and I haven't. Maybe because other women are more crafty, more imaginative, more fabulous. Maybe because other women didn't pass up their dream gown and settle for second best...still beautiful, but not The Dress. Maybe...maybe...maybe this whole thing is going to be a failure. What if we don't have amazing memories? What if its not a beautiful day, after all, but a culmination of stress and worry that ignites and ruins the day?

I just want to go down to the courthouse and call it good.

I must confess to being addicted to the Internet. Being of Gen Y, I remember a time without the Internet: a simpler, sweeter time. A time when letters were written as a means of communication. A time when phone calls were made to catch up. A time when books were opened when you were wondering which president instigated Manifest Destiny. It was Polk, by the way...Wikipedia told me so.

And now, enough of my ode to the Dark Ages of the 1990s. My purpose in starting this blog is simple. It is my wedding journal, if you will. Despite Facebook, a wedding website, friends, relatives, and the average joe on the street, I still feel as though I need to record this journey to wedded bliss.

As of today, here is what is planned. We have the place. We have the photographer. We have the dress. We have singers, a pianist, food, and favors. We have a website. Centerpieces have arrived. The wedding party has been picked. Most of the invitees have received their hand-made invitations. Beverage dispensers and food tubs are awaiting the fulfillment of their purpose in my garage. And yet, it feels like the list of things that have been accomplished pales in comparison to what yet looms. Someone told me that no bride is ready for her wedding, she just stops and gets married. She didn't mean that in reference to mental state, but rather in reference to all the preparation, all the tiny details, all the unexpected isms that arise...I thought it was quite apropos.

My current projects (as there seems to always be more than one) are:

bees

confetti

programs

floral details

My vision for these projects:

These little bees will accompany my favors of honey straws. These honey straws arranged in Mason jars will accompany a small floral arrangement and a lit oil lamp to comprise my centerpieces. The honey straws will have a cutsie hand-made label attached to the Mason jar, and the label will read 'Love is sweeter than honey' or something gag-worthy to that effect. The labels will have a little bee on them. This idea is courtesy of Mrs. Green Tea from Weddingbee.com, my new favorite site.

Our confetti has to be organic, as we're getting married in the great outdoors of Montana. In my vast hours of web time, I stumbled upon this at etsy.com. It is potpourri, but I figured it would make colorful and wonderfully scented confetti. Luckily, as a barista at a coffeehouse famous for our homemade lemonades, I have easy access to many lemons. I also happen to be something of a fruit nut, so I eat oranges fairly often. I decided to buy the lavender, but save up my citrus peels and dry them myself. Little did I know...wow...it's a daily project! I don't know that it will be worth it in the end, but I think the idea itself has merit.

Another from the annals of weddingbee.com's DIY selection, these programs immediately caught my eye. I have my own take on them, however. They will still have a Popsicle stick attached to make it into a fan. It will, after all, be a July afternoon. However, as I'm incorporating as much color into my wedding as I can, the programs are going to be varying jewel tones...blue, green, pink, yellow, and orange. Instead of a bird theme, I have darling silk flowers in the same colors, which will attach with multi-colored brads. The unique thing about these programs is that the reverse side has...wait for it...GAMES! Wedding themed games gave the guests a little something to do before the ceremony started. This idea is enthralling to me, so I'm trying to put together something similar.

Having no green thumb or floral vision of any sort, I turned again to the internet for inspiration. I knew only that I wanted a wildflower look, incorporating lots of color. This lovely bouquet filled in the blanks of my idea. The bridesmaids' dresses are a beautiful sage green with accents in magenta, so the dahlias will be a matching pink rather than orange. This, I feel, will also lend a more summery look to the bouquet. I am lucky enough to have a very talented lady on my team when it comes to my florals. I am sure she could put this together in her sleep...whereas I would somehow kill the blooms with just the breeze from a blink. Seriously.

I am hoping to accomplish a large portion of my in-work projects over the coming week. The fee-aunts-hey and I are heading to his sister's home. Living in Montana is great, but it seriously limits shopping. He wants to wear a suit on the Big Day, so we're taking a trip to a more metropolitan sort of place to shop. And relax. And assemble programs. And glue wings on bees. And...well, you get the picture.